


full of field and stars

by epilogues



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Growing Old Together, Immortality, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24517291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epilogues/pseuds/epilogues
Summary: “Yeah,” he says, and then Dave realizes, like an idiot, that Karkat’s probably not going to be around for the fuckingLove Actuallybox set. It’s the most stupid thing in the world, and it’s not a surprise, and yet the knowledge is stuck in Dave’s throat like an unpleasant chunk of grub spaghetti.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
Comments: 33
Kudos: 112





	full of field and stars

**Author's Note:**

> hello! happy wriggling day, karkat! here's ... whatever this is. (which is optimistically the first in a series of four fics, each focusing on one of the beta kids and an aspect of their experience with immortality! john's will hopefully be in the works soon) title is from big thief's mary. 
> 
> content warnings: i didn't use archive warnings bc i wasn't exactly sure which to use here - this entire fic centers around the premise of karkat not being immortal and discussions of mortality/eventual death/aging, however there is no actual death in the fic.

“Will you remind me to ask Kanaya for a haircut sometime soon?”

“Dude, I’ve told you a million times that I can do it,” Dave says. He closes Twitter and floats over to stand behind Karkat, making eye contact with him in the mirror. “Do you not trust me?”

Karkat snorts as he drags a brush through his hair. “Not with my hair, no.”

“No, no, I could do it,” Dave insists. He floats up a little higher and takes a couple strands of Karkat’s hair loosely into his hand. “See, just a snip here, chop there, and - whoa, wait, do you have a gray hair in here?”

“No, I don’t have a fucking gray hair,” Karkat snaps. He jerks his head to the side and away from Dave’s grip, dropping the brush onto the counter with a clatter. “Let me see that.”

Dave floats down to a more reasonable height of only two inches off the ground and watches as Karkat leans towards the mirror with a scowl. “It’s just one, dude, you don’t have to freak out or anything. It’s just like when you grab a handful of Skittles at one of those hella unsanitary bowls at parties, and you’re like, aw, shit, Skittles are so great, but then there’s one brown one and -”

“I’m not freaking out,” Karkat interrupts. “It’s just… weird.”

Both his body and voice seem to deflate on the last word, and Dave puts a hand on his shoulder. “What d’you mean?”

“God, I don’t fucking know. Just that, I wasn’t ever supposed to live for a long time. At all. And now here I am, and it’s… weird.”

Dave’s feet touch the floor; the soft thump is suddenly the only sound in the small bathroom. “I get that,” he says carefully. “But, hey, it’s kinda hot, y’know? Got that sexy DILF energy. Wait. LILF? Did Alternia have LILFs?”

“What the fuck is a LILF?” 

“You know, like, Lusus I’d Like to Fuck, did y’all do that? Or was it like AILF, for ancestor, even though it’d have to be someone else’s ancestor and even then it’s kinda getting into some weird territory and -”

“No, Dave, we didn’t have LILFs,” Karkat groans. He pulls Disgusted Face #47, which usually means that he’s seriously grossed out. Dave kind of feels bad about that, but then again, at least they seem to be fully out of the Emotional Vulnerability Zone. Not that there’s anything wrong with being in there, of course, but it’s really, really not where Dave likes to spend his Tuesday mornings. “What does that even have to do with gray hair anyway?”

“Like, in human culture, DILFs are usually older, which means that they probably have grey hair,” Dave explains with a tone only seen in someone that has explained DILFs to aliens before. “You’re just extra sexy now, basically.”

“Yeah, yeah, easy for you to say,” Karkat says. He grabs the brush and starts yanking it through his hair again, only with slightly more force than before. 

Dave hops up onto the counter so that he’s facing Karkat and starts swinging his legs. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The brush is once again sent clattering onto the counter as Karkat waves his hands in various, abortive polygons. “You’re fucking - you haven’t aged in sweeps, Dave.”

“What? No, I’ve aged, c’mon, dude, you really think I was gonna look thirteen forever when I can pretty much do whatever I want?”

“No, I know,” Karkat says. “But I’m pretty sure you’ve been in your human early 20s for at least 10 years now.” 

Dave cranes his neck to look at himself in the mirror. “Huh. Yeah, I guess so. Talk about god tier perks, am I right?”

“Yeah,” Karkat says - and it’s not like it’s soft or anything, because that doesn’t seem to be something Karkat ever has or ever will figure out how to be, but it’s… different, somehow.

Dave turns back to face him. Shit. Emotional Vulnerability Zone, here we come, all thanks to his apparent absolute lack of tact. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Karkat snaps, then, quieter, “I just don’t want to look like some sort of cavern-robber.”

“Wait, wait, you’re telling me that Alternia had the concept of cradle-robbers but not DILFs? What the fuck, man, I swear I’m never going to be able to understand how our planets were so similar but so… not. Like, what was this? Does SBURB just kinda play cultural mix and match with the universes it makes, like, here you go, y’all get DILFs, y’all get nocturnalism, here, cradle-robbing for everyone, or what?”

Karkat laughs a little and clambers up to sit next to Dave on the sink. “If you ask Jade, she’d probably figure it out in a week or two.”

“Yeah, probably,” Dave says. He drops his head onto Karkat’s shoulder with the air of someone who’s done something a million times but has yet to actually believe that they’re allowed to do it. “I’ll make a note to ask her later, but, uh, what were you saying? I didn’t mean to send your brain train violently careening off of the tracks or anything.”

“Just that -” Karkat stops, sighs, and drops his head on top of Dave’s with a little more force than strictly necessary. “Fuck, I don’t know. It’s just fucking weird that you look ten, eleven sweeps old while I’m about to be in my goddamn 20s.” 

Dave thinks about that for a moment, then carefully says, “Would it help if I aged, like, with you? I can basically pick with the god tier thing, so, I mean, twenty sweeps, that’s about forty years, right? Damn, maybe I can be the DILF of this relationship now.” 

“Dave, I still don’t - does there have to be a DILF?” Karkat says. “Actually, nevermind, I don’t want to talk about DILFs anymore. Don’t answer that. Sure. If you’re okay with doing that, I mean. The aging thing, not the - nevermind.”

“Yeah, no, of course,” Dave says, and he hopes it sounds a little more sure than he feels. It’s not that he has a problem with aging or whatever, it’s just… it’s weird to think about. Forty never seemed like something he’d reach, and he’s more than a little afraid that he’ll turn out to be a hideous old man, but - it’s for Karkat, and if Dave can’t do this for him, what’s the point? “Okay, here, let me just-”

“You don’t have to do it now, idiot,” Karkat says. “I don’t know how god tier stuff works, obviously, so if you need a minute or something, there’s no rush.”

Dave shakes his head, lifts his hand like he’s about to spin a record. “Nah, it’s chill, this was pretty easy last time.” He flicks his wrist, closes his eyes, and pulls himself forward through time - he has no idea how this works for anyone else, but Time is a simple aspect to manipulate in this situation. When he opens his eyes and turns back to face the mirror again, he’s… well, he’s forty. 

“Shit, man, I look pretty good,” he says, running a hand over the slightly-more-than stubble framing his jawline and furrowing his eyebrows to see deeper wrinkles than before. “Definitely DILF material. What d’you think?”

Karkat makes a noise somewhere between a snort and a cough. “You look... good, dumbass. Uh. Thank you.”

Dave bumps his shoulder into Karkat’s, half-playful and half-testing the way his body handles its own weight slightly differently now. It’s a strange feeling, like his skin has ran ahead of him and he’s still trying to catch up, but, hey, he’s not going gray yet, and besides, it’s for Karkat. “No problem, dude.”

*

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] opened memo on board A Discussion [Time-Locked]  


GA: Hello  
GA: I Hope We Can All Agree To Remain Civilized And Chronological In This Memo  
GA: I Understand That May Quickly Become Difficult But An Attempt Would Be Appreciated/span>  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.  
TG: yeah whats up kanaya  
TG: just having a hankering for the davekats or  
GA: Something Like That  
GA: Rose Has Asked Me To Create This Memo  
CG: OKAY, THAT MAKES A LITTLE MORE SENSE.  
CG: I COULDN’T FUCKING FATHOM WHY ANYONE THAT WAS ON THE METEOR ORIGINALLY WOULD THINK MEMOS WERE A GOOD IDEA.  
GA: Those Memos Certainly Were Something  
TG: wait why didnt rose just make one  
TG: pretty sure she has a working computer and a trollchumpesterbitchian account or whatever hell were using now  
TG: i mean like ive heard about the memos so i guess  
TG: pretty sure i can understand why you wouldnt want to be in one with this guy  
CG: I’M WELL ADJUSTED NOW, THANKS.  
CG: BESIDES, KANAYA TIME-LOCKED THIS, SO I THINK WE’RE GOOD.  
CG: AND HEY, YOU’RE THE TIME GUY.  
CG: GLASS HIVES, ASSHOLE, GLASS HIVES.  
TG: yeah yeah  
TG: seriously though kanaya whats up  
GA: Well  
GA: It Is A Bit Of A Serious Subject  
GA: Although I Suppose There Is No Reason Why It Cannot Be Approached With Humor Considering That It Is You Two After All  
TG: wait ok let me guess  
TG: are you and rose getting divorced  
TG: just kidding obviously i know yall would never  
TG: whats up  
CG: KANAYA.  
CG: IF YOU’RE ABOUT TO BRING UP WHAT I THINK YOU’RE ABOUT TO BRING UP,  
CG: DON’T.  
CG: I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL. *WE* HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL.  
TG: wait what  
TG: do you know what shes talking about  
GA: Karkat I Am Sorry But I Do Find It Hard To Believe That You Have It Under Control  
GA: Especially Considering That Dave Does Not Seem To Know Whats Going On  
GA: Although I Will Say That Certainly Justifies My Presence Here  
CG: OKAY FINE.  
CG: MAYBE WE HAVEN’T EXPLICITLY FUCKING DISCUSSED IT, BUT HE’S NOT STUPID.  
TG: yeah we all know im einstein two electric boogaloo over here  
TG: but uh  
TG: i gotta admit i have no fucking clue whats going on here  
GA: Karkat  
GA: Would You Like To Speak To Your Husband  
GA: I Can Leave The Memo Briefly  
GA: Or You Two Could Speak In Person  
GA: This Memo Is Really Only Meant As A Catalyst From Concerned Friends After All  
TG: karkat is everything okay man  
CG: OKAY, SHUT UP, HANG ON.  
CG: NOT YOU, DAVE.  
CG: THE SHUT UP PART DOESN’T APPLY TO YOU, I MEAN. THE HANG ON DOES.  


carcinoGeneticist [CG]  blocked grimAuxiliatrix [GA] from memo A Discussion [Time-Locked]  


CG: OKAY. FUCK.  
CG: SORRY ABOUT THAT.  
TG: its all good dude  
TG: uh  
TG: i gotta say though im kinda curious now  
TG: just call me george and give me a banana  
TG: youre my man in the yellow hat karkat  
TG: although maybe not because it wouldve been fucked on so many levels if those two were like that  
TG: the homoerotic tension was definitely there though so who can say  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: actually wait wasnt there like a doorman in there  
TG: who was a bear but not in the animal sense what do you think this is bojack horseman  
TG: cmon man have some standards  
TG: we only allow animals to act like animals in this show  
TG: no furry indoctrination allowed no siree  
TG: anyway my point is that the man in the yellow hat was banging the doorman  
TG: wait has anyone considered the phallic symbolism of the yellow hat  
TG: all pointy and shit and just kinda  
TG: being phallic  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: yeah whats up  
CG: CAN I ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU?  
CG: PLEASE.  
TG: yeah of course  
TG: is uh  
TG: is everything okay  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: I MEAN,  
CG: WE’RE OKAY. I LOVE YOU.  
TG: ok phew  
TG: had me worried for a second  
TG: thought i might have to ask rose to whip me up my next batch of love potion early  
TG: slip into your drink all casual and keep you here  
TG: goddamn sorry that wasnt supposed to be that creepy  
TG: i swear im not giving you love potions to stay with me  
TG: shit sorry didnt mean to start going off like that  
TG: do you want to talk about this in person or  
CG: IF YOU WANT TO.  
CG: IT MIGHT BE EASIER LIKE THIS, THOUGH.  
TG: ok yeah thats chill  
TG: whatever works <3  
CG: OKAY, WELL.  
CG: I KNOW YOU’VE NOTICED ME. LATELY.  
CG: IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY ASS I’M BLOCKING YOU.  
TG: got it  
CG: AND I KNOW YOU’VE NOTICED THAT I’M  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG MUTANTS LIVE.  
CG: ON ALTERNIA WE WERE ALL KILLED WITHIN DAYS OF HATCHING.  
CG: AND THE ONLY MUTANTS I’VE HEARD OF THAT SURVIVED THAT WERE MURDERED IN VARIOUS WAYS.  
TG: what are you saying  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING, DAVE.  
CG: I’M NOT SAYING IT’S GOING TO BE TOMORROW OR ANYTHING.  
CG: EVEN THOUGH WITH THE WAY YOU FLY I FUCKING WONDER SOMETIMES.  
TG: heh  
CG: BUT IT’S NOT  
CG: IT’S NOT GOING TO BE AS LONG AS YOU.  
CG: AND I DON’T THINK IT’S GOING TO BE AS LONG AS KANAYA.  
CG: RUSTBLOODS USUALLY ONLY LIVED 24 SWEEPS AT THE MOST ON ALTERNIA, AND WHO KNOWS ABOUT MUTANTS.  
CG: I’M ALMOST 22 NOW AND KANAYA  
CG: WE THINK IT’LL BE WITHIN THE YEAR.  
CG: …  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: FUCK.  
TG: …  
TG: …  
TG: …  
CG: YOU OKAY?  
TG: yeah just  
TG: its a lot to take in yk  
TG: you  
TG: like yeah maybe youre not as sprightly as you used to be  
TG: but neither am i like you saw me trip over the rug the other day  
TG: nearly fucking ate shit  
TG: just a whole feast of it in my mouth like olive garden breadsticks in there  
TG: uh  
CG: YEAH, YOU ALMOST ATE SHIT.  
CG: BUT THEN YOU CAUGHT YOURSELF WITH YOUR MAGIC GOD FLYING POWERS, BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOD.  
CG: AN IMMORTAL ONE.  
TG: yeah but  
TG: hang on shouldnt you be a god too  
TG: you made our universe isnt that literally the job description  
TG: not just dying on a special rock or whatever but literally creating the universe frog  
TG: and dont you dare make a self-deprecating cancer joke right now  
TG: cmon man i know sburbs a fucking shit game but you cant tell me its that bad  
CG: I MEAN YOU’D FUCKING HOPE IT’D BE A LITTLE BETTER THEN THAT.  
CG: BUT OBVIOUSLY I’VE AGED, AND OBVIOUSLY I’M GETTING A LITTLE PAST MY FUCKING PRIME.  
CG: FUCK, THIS IS WHY ROSE DIDN’T MAKE THE MEMO.  
TG: what do you mean  
CG: THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO KANAYA TOO.  
CG: PROBABLY NOT FOR CENTURIES, SINCE SHE’S A JADE AND A RAINBOW DRINKER.  
TG: oh  
TG: yeah that would make sense then i guess  
TG: huh  
TG: guess i shouldve realized this when we had that whole conversation about aging or whatever  
TG: i mean on some level i did you know but its like  
TG: fuck man i dont want to think about this  
TG: like hey mr elephant i totally dont see you over in the corner of the room  
TG: hes been standing there for years just shitting and whatever else elephants do  
TG: and now theres this huge pile of elephant shit in our living room and were just living in it but its kind of better that way because if we point it out someones gotta clean it up  
TG: lets be real karkat neither of us want to clean up elephant shit  
CG: THANK YOU, DAVE, FOR COMPARING MY LIFESPAN TO ELEPHANT SHIT.  
TG: shit i didnt mean it like that  
TG: i wasnt trying to be an asshole  
CG: NO, I KNOW.  
CG: I WAS TRYING TO BE SARCASTIC.  
CG: I MEAN, KANAYA WAS RIGHT. WE DON’T EXACTLY HAVE A TRACK RECORD FOR APPROACHING SERIOUS SITUATIONS LIKE NORMAL TROLLS. PEOPLE. WHATEVER.  
TG: yeah fair point  
TG: i dont know if i can actually joke about this one though like i know i just did the whole elephant shit thing but  
TG: why are we doing this over text can i come in there  
CG: SURE.  
CG: CAN WE KEEP TEXTING THOUGH? I DON’T EXACTLY TRUST MY STUPID SPEECH VIBRATORS RIGHT NOW.  
TG: yeah yeah of course  
TG: one sec  
TG: ok this is kind of funny because its like im sitting right next to you  
TG: you can literally see me typing this before i send it  
TG: but seriously whatever works  
CG: THANK YOU.  
CG: SHUT UP! I DIDN’T LAUGH WHEN *YOU* MADE A TYPO.  
TG: thats because i didnt make one  
TG: you know these fingers are flying  
TG: fuckin bullseye everytime  
TG: ten hundred points to griffinclaw and the crowds go wild  
CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT GRIFFINCLAW IS?  
TG: how many times do i have to tell you that its from a culturally significant earth series  
TG: i still cant believe yall didnt have troll horace polter  
TG: shits fuckin important  
CG: YES, IT’S TRULY FASCINATING.  
CG: WE SHOULD STOP STALLING, THOUGH.  
CG: DO YOU WANT TO INVITE KANAYA BACK IN?  
CG: I MEAN, I THINK SHE WAS JUST HERE TO MAKE US TALK, BUT I DON’T WANT HER TO FLIP OUT BECAUSE WE’VE KEPT HER OUT OF HERE FOR HOURS.  
TG: yeah okay  
TG: but first um  
TG: you know you can talk to me right  
TG: you can tell me things like this whenever like obviously these conversations suck  
TG: but i mean its better to talk about it now than like  
TG: later  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: I WILL.  
TG: cool  
TG: okay yeah lets get kanaya back in here then  
TG: make it a real fruity rumpus asshole factory am i right  
CG: SHUT UP.  


carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to A Discussion [Time-Locked]  


GA: Have You Two Finished Talking Then  
CG: YEAH.  
TG: yeah  
GA: Good  
GA: As I Said Before Rose Asked Me To Make This Memo  
GA: She And I Both Wanted To Make Sure That You Two Had At Least Discussed The Matter  
GA: Since We Know Neither Of You Are Inclined To Communicate Difficult Topics  
GA: And She Wanted Me To Tell Dave That “What He Is Thinking About Doing Is Unhealthy” And To “Use Your Brain Idiot And Find A Better Solution”  
GA: I Assume You Understand That  
TG: unfortunately yeah  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?  
TG: how the turntables do their thing huh  
TG: i guess i was just thinking  
TG: like obviously i wouldnt do it if you werent cool with it  
TG: but i mean i would always have the option to like go see your past self or whatever  
CG: HUH.  
TG: obviously if youre not cool with that then i wouldnt  
TG: and also i guess rose isnt cool with it for some reason  
TG: ?  
GA: She Sees That It Could Become An Addiction  
GA: And Addiction Is A Powerful Thing Dave  
TG: so whats she saying that i do  
GA: Well  
GA: As With Humans Trolls Often Become Less Mobile And Less Like Themselves As They Age  
GA: Although Such Effects Are Often Greater For Trolls  
GA: Many Trolls Enter A Hibernation-Like State Shortly Before Natural Death  
TG: okay  
GA: Rose Thought It Might Be Good For You To Be Aware Of This  
GA: As It Seemed Unlikely That Karkat Would Inform You In Any Helpful Way  
CG: SHUT UP.  
TG: okay well it seems like  
TG: it seems like rose thinks i have a window where this is a bad idea from like  
TG: when that happens  
TG: to when it happens  
TG: so i should go before that happens if i want to go  
GA: Yes That Is The Impression I Got  
GA: I Also Think It Is A Good Idea And Will Likely Enlist Your Help In Giving Rose A Similar Opportunity Before My Passing  
GA: Obviously I Understand If You Both Need Time To Consider This  
GA: However Rose And I Both Felt It Important To Ensure This All Was On Your Radar  
GA: And To Ensure That You Would Be Steering Clear Of Dangerous Paths  
TG: thanks  
TG: uh  
TG: well talk about it  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: THANKS, KANAYA.  
CG: DAVE, IF YOU WANT TO, I WANT YOU TO.  
CG: IT’LL BE A BETTER GOODBYE THAN FUTURE ME WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU.  
TG: yeah i  
TG: kinda need to process for a bit if thats cool  
CG: RIGHT.  
GA: Take As Much Time As You Both Need  
GA: Ill Leave Now As I Am Clearly No More Than A Middletroll At This Point  
GA: But Should Either Of You Need To Talk Know That I Am Here  


grimAuxiliatrix [GA left memo A Discussion [Time-Locked]  


CG: DO YOU WANT TO TALK NOW?  
CG: IF YOU NEED TIME, I GET IT.  
TG: yeah you know i always need more of that shit  
TG: uh  
TG: okay this is stupid im putting my phone down  


*

There’s a night, on a windy balcony, after the cake has been eaten, after everyone else has filtered out of the small house and the paparazzi have given up on capturing their gods, when John brings it up.

Everyone else has been carefully side-stepping the issue all day, all quick glances when they think Dave is looking and longer ones when they think he’s not. It’s been strange, being told to stand next to Mr. Crocker in the group photo, feeling a step out of sync from everyone he grew up with - and now, without - but it’s worth it for the weight of Karkat’s rough hand in his own. 

But of course, on that night and on that balcony, John brings it up, and there’s a conversation. The words fall from their mouths and flit around them like fireflies, like every poet’s remembrance of summer childhoods, and they pretend they’re light even as they hit the ground.

“Can’t believe you’re as old as my - as Jane’s dad,” John says. His elbows are braced on the railing, he’s braced on his elbows, Dave braces himself for whatever John is going to say next. “Why?”

A casual shrug, a shoulder that’s still heavier than its owner is used to. “Karkat, I guess,” Dave says. “I mean, he doesn’t exactly get to pick and choose like the rest of us, and I didn’t want him to, you know, be the odd one out or anything.”

“Huh.” 

“Yeah.”

A pause, a breeze, the sound of windchimes and an exhale. 

“Is it really, like, that weird?”

This time, John shrugs, but his performance of nonchalance isn’t as practiced. “A little bit, I think. You’re my best friend, so it’s weird seeing you be twenty years older than me. I know I probably look the youngest or whatever, but even Rose and Kanaya are still doing the late twenties thing.”

“It’s weird seeing you be so much younger,” Dave points out. “Have you ever, you know, thought about looking a little past twenty-one? I’m pretty sure we just celebrated your eighty-seven hundredth birthday or some shit like that.”

“Not really? I mean, don’t have anyone to keep up with or anything,” John says. “Besides, I don’t think eighty-seven hundred would be a good look on me.”

Dave allows the corner of his mouth to quirk up, just a bit. “You never know, dude, that Egbert charm doesn’t seem to wear off. Seriously, just look at your dad, now that’s-”

“Ew, Dave, no!” John interrupts. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“I’m just saying,” Dave says, holding up his hands. “Wait, hang on, how’s he even still alive? Shouldn’t he be aging?”

Another shrug, another light breeze, another pause.

“I thought he would be, but I think Jane’s doing something with her life powers.”

“Huh. Cool.”

“Yeah. Uh. What are you going to do, after Karkat… you know? Are you going to keep aging?”

Dave forces a laugh out. “What, like, that fuckin’, god, what was it? The thrist of doarnion gay, I think, you know, where the shirt aged forever so Hella Jeff could keep partying? That was some gruesome shit, dude, but, uh, I don’t know, actually. It’s not like I’ve been thinking about it a lot, y’know?”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry, that was a stupid question.” John says. He stands up and shoves his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts with a sigh. “Sorry.”

“It’s no big,” Dave says. He thinks he sounds convincing, at least. _Yeah, no big that my husband’s going to die, no big, dude!_ “Hey, has Dirk made you watch Bojack Horseman yet?”

John sounds confused when he says, “Uh, no? Why?”

“Just, like…” Dave waves a hand, not so much like he’s spinning a record as like he’s brushing a firefly away, “there’s this scene at the end of the show, I don’t want to spoil anything or whatever, but basically it’s just, like, I don’t know. It’s like this.” 

“Okay?” John says.

“You’ll get it someday,” Dave says, then, when he realizes how fucking stupid he sounds, “Just have patience, young padawan. The secrets of the Force will reveal themselves to you in time.”

John snorts. It’s a sound Dave’s heard a million times. “You’d make a shitty Obi Wan,” he says. 

“And you’d do any better? C’mon, man, I’d at least pull off the robe better than you,” Dave protests. He half-holds out his arm like there’s a robe draped over it and gives John his best _I have the high ground_ look. 

“Okay, maybe,” John relents. His posture shifts from tense to something a little more relaxed, and his smile falls to something a little more natural. “You’ve got the beard now, at least.”

“Oh, _hell_ yes, I have the beard,” Dave says. He grins as he drops his arm. The night falls quiet once more, on that little balcony, and the wind blows and time passes, slowly but all too fast, and the night aches and doesn’t sit quite right in anyone’s chest, but… somehow, it’s nice.

*

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  


TT: How are you doing?  
TG: hey  
TG: why are you asking  
TT: Because I care about you and want to check in? Do I need a reason?  
TG: i guess not its just like  
TG: usually youd hide that between about seventy more layers of bullshit is all  
TG: keep it squirreled away so not only do you get to maintain your aloof facade but so that you get to see me tripping over my own goddamn words as i try and get after it  
TG: like im a lab rat in a maze  
TG: youd be good at fucking with lab rats actually  
TG: have you ever considered going into rat science  
TT: Funnily enough, I have not.  
TT: Also, you’re not at all subtle about dodging my questions.  
TT: Are you okay?  
TG: why wouldnt i be okay  
TG: im a god and not to mention i am literally the greatest mumble rapper earth c has seen or will ever see  
TG: and those things arent even related  
TG: stage names bitch  
TT: Is it even a stage name if you’ve never performed live?  
TG: hey you dont know if i have or not  
TG: i could be performing right now  
TT: Right.  
TT: I’m going to find your SoundCloud one day, you know.  
TG: you wish  
TG: im too good at disgusting myself though  
TT: You say that, and yet I highly doubt that anyone else on there would leave such a Oedipal bread crumb trail.  
TG: heh that kinda sounds like edible  
TG: nice  
TG: but nah i proofread my shit  
TG: and again its mumble rap and whos to say i post my lyrics  
TG: my fans gotta work to understand my art  
TT: And he continues to dodge the question.  
TT: Please keep going, actually, I bet Kanaya twenty dollars that you’d avoid it for at least twenty minutes. She thought you’d only make it ten.  
TG: i swear i will never understand what you two do all day  
TG: money isnt even a real thing anymore  
TT: Well, would you rather me tell you what we actually bet?  
TG: no  
TG: god no  
TG: goddamnit rose why are you so fucking weird  
TT: Says my brother the immortal SoundCloud mumble rapper.  
TG: yeah yeah  
TG: okay well its been twelve minutes but i really dont want you to win so  
TG: if youre asking about the karkat stuff im fine  
TG: not great obviously because i mean clearly its like  
TG: neither of us are in the pinnacle of our youth and i think everyone kinda knows its going to be soon  
TG: we dont really talk about it which im sure you already knew  
TG: but im fine  
TG: no need to worry  
TT: Okay.  
TT: I figured as much.  
TG: so was that all you needed  
TG: just wanted to roll up get me to spill my dark emotional secrets say you told me so and head out  
TT: Not exactly.  
TT: Would you mind putting away the bullshit for a moment?  
TG: dont know what you mean i would never bullshit in my life but  
TG: yeah sure  
TT: Okay.  
TT: I did want to check in on you, but I also just… wanted to know what it’s like.  
TT: Obviously I haven’t been as supportive as I could be in this situation, and I’m sorry for that.  
TT: It’s a pathetic excuse to say that watching you and Karkat age together hits too close to home, but it’s the only one I have to offer.  
TT: It scares me, Dave. I don’t know how you’re handling it, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when Kanaya gets older.  
TG: you dont have to apologize for anything its all good  
TG: i mean you know if the situation was reversed id probably just be completely shutting down so  
TG: youre all good seriously  
TG: and i dont know if theres anything i can say here to help if thats what youre looking for  
TG: like i dont want to say that its easy or whatever because it sucks every single day and it sucks a little more every single day  
TG: but at least we can kind of go through it together right  
TG: like  
TG: i mean obviously i have no idea what im going to do after but at least right now we can sorta pretend that were just like normal people  
TT: You’re not going to go back, right? After?  
TG: nah  
TG: i mean i say that now but someone will probably have to stop me haha  
TG: but im not planning on it  
TG: i wouldnt want to make that a habit because its not fair to karkat  
TG: its not fair to future him and its not fair to past him  
TG: its honestly not fair to past me either but thats kinda whatever  
TG: but we did agree that ill go back once before  
TT: I think that’s probably the smartest course of action.  
TT: Obviously this is a bit soon, but would you be willing to take me back? Before. Kanaya.  
TG: yeah of course  
TG: just let me know and we can set it up  
TT: Thank you.  
TT: And if there’s ever anything that Kanaya or I can do right now, you don’t have to ask from underneath seventy layers of bullshit.  
TT: I’m not going to give you shit for this.  
TG: thanks  
TG: and you too obviously  
TG: uh  
TG: anything else you wanna say before my brain combusts from all this concentrated sincerity  
TG: i may look like im sixty but i can assure you that i have not gotten any more mature  
TT: Ha.  
TT: I might beg to differ, but alright.  
TT: Do your loyal listeners know that you’re pulling a “How do you do, fellow kids?” on them?  
TG: oh no absolutely not  
TG: im not even doing that really  
TG: you know im still hella hip rose  
TG: dont even try to deny it  
TT: Right.  
TG: also dont tell karkat but i may or may not have figured out a way to temporarily de-age my voice  
TG: god tier bodies are fucked on so many levels  
TG: it makes me feel kinda like one of your eldritch abominations when i look in the mirror and im all old but my voice is some cool twenty year old  
TG: like i dont think theres anything inherently problematic with this situation but something isnt right  
TG: but hey its a small price to pay for my fame  
TT: Okay, even I don’t know what kind of psychological ramifications that one has.  
TT: Although it will help narrow my search down.  
TT: And possibly require me to rescind some comments I may have left on the profiles of some other users.  
TG: wait what the fuck rose have you been cyberbullying old men on soundcloud  
TG: rose  
TG: rose tell me you havent been cyberbullying old men on soundcloud  
TG: tell me you havent been dropping shit in their comments about milfs or whatever in an attempt to catch me  
TT: I mean, I could certainly tell you that I haven’t done that.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: those poor old men  
TG: just trying to mumble rap except theyre probably not even trying for the mumble part  
TG: all these guys named bernard and harold and walter  
TG: theyre just doing their best they barely even know what soundcloud is but theyre sure as hell trying  
TG: little do they know that rose lalonde  
TG: the literal goddess  
TT: I do have a subtle screen name, you know.  
TG: right definitely  
TG: so this literal goddess is about to come onto their little page  
TG: and ask them about how their childhood trauma affects their lyrics  
TG: i bet youre all smug about it too like  
TG: “Hello, Dave. These beats certainly are as fresh as you promised, although I can’t say the same for your second verse. Did you mean to use the symbol of your turntables as a metaphor for impotence, or did that occur naturally?”  
TG: goddamn poor old guys  
TT: Look, I wouldn’t jump straight to impotence. I’m no amateur.  
TG: uh huh  
TG: tell that to bernard  
TT: I will not, but I will certainly remind you of that fact when I find your account.  
TG: goddamnit rose youre not going to find it  
TG: i cover my tracks so well  
TG: not even karkats found it yet and we literally share a computer  
TT: Well, to be fair, I wouldn’t place my computer skills and Karkat’s on the same level.  
TG: yeah good point  
TG: youre way more incompetent  
TT: How long did you spend heating the coals for that burn?  
TG: how many supernatural gifs were on the tumblr post you got that from  
TT: Supernatural wasn’t even that popular before our Earth was destroyed.  
TG: yeah well some of us enjoy being culturally literate  
TT: In dead Earth cultures.  
TG: yeah  
TG: shits entertaining  
TT: You just like to see posts about SBaHJ, don’t you.  
TG: like you dont get roxy to find you old reviews for your wizard fic  
TT: Well, I’m glad to see that age hasn’t changed you.  
TG: what can i say rose im like a fine wine  
TG: but instead of getting better with age i just dont change  
TG: i just get better because its so amazing that ive stayed this awesome for this long  
TT: Right.  
TG: oh shut up  
TG: anyway i think were safe of sincerity corner so if you dont mind i gotta go write  
TG: cant keep all these rhymes in my head for too long  
TG: dont want any fires starting up there yknow  
TT: I would hate for that to happen.  
TT: Are we still planning on that “ironic” double date next week?  
TG: obviously  
TG: i have the best old man outfit planned just wait til you see this shit  
TT: I look forward to it.  
TG: hell yeah  


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]  


*

“I still don’t understand how you can just ignore all of those idiots out there,” Karkat grumbles. He casts a glance, not sharp like a dagger but like the worn edge of a heavy axe, toward the door, where the usual crowd is - presumably - clamoring against the gate around their home. 

Dave shrugs as he shoves the last bag of Doritos into the already-overflowing cupboard and leans against the door to make sure that it shuts. “You forget that I was famous before SBURB.”

“With your movies? You do remember that wasn’t actually you, right?”

Dave shakes his head, smiling a little as he walks over to sit down next to Karkat on the couch. “I had a blog, dude, I was getting mobbed in the streets on the daily.”

“Sure.” Karkat rolls his eyes, but his posture softens just enough for Dave to know it’s okay to lean over and drop his head onto Karkat’s shoulder. “I guess it’s just fucking annoying that they feel like they have to do this every fucking time one of us leaves the house, like, no, I haven’t died yet, and no, you’re not secretly a fake god tier.”

“Yeah, it’s annoying,” Dave allows, “but at least they can’t actually see you or anything, right?”

“I guess,” Karkat huffs. He looks down at his hands, then snorts a little. “Although that’s probably just adding to their list of reasons why I’ve been dead for sweeps.”

It’s not funny, not really, but Dave lets himself laugh too. “Tomorrow all the tabloids are running a new article about how I’ve been running a you-shaped mannequin around the house for ages now, like, all _Home Alone_ style, except for the _Demiurgical Enquirer_ because I don’t care what she says, that one’s written by Rose.”

“Dave. Rose has not been secretly writing a tabloid about us and our friends since we’ve got here,” Karkat insists in the tone of someone that’s had an argument many times and never wants to have it again. “Vriska, if she was here, or Kanaya, yeah, maybe I could see that. But Rose?”

“Has never explicitly denied it, and she’s the only one that never mentions any of us dying in her articles,” Dave insists, in the tone of someone that’s had an argument many times and is prepared to have it as many times as it takes. “There’s literally no one else that would do that, but, uh, anyway, it’s not hot as shit outside for once? So if you want to go for a fly or a walk or whatever and try and keep these bastards on their toes, it could be nice.”

And yeah, okay, maybe Dave’s never really mastered the art of a smooth subject change, but Karkat’s gotten used to that by now. 

“Alright,” he agrees. “But we’re not fucking flying.”

And so they don’t fly - they haven’t in a long time, Dave will be the first to admit that he can be willfully dense when he wants to be, but it’s obvious that Karkat gets uncomfortable when he uses his powers too much - but they leave their house through the back door and path they added for this exact purpose, and they make it to a nearby park without being spotted. 

The trail they usually take, a loop around a lake that Karkat insists was manufactured but Dave will forever say is natural, is mostly devoid of other people, and it stays that way as the afternoon rolls into evening and the sun sinks towards the horizon in the least symbolic way possible. They don’t talk, mostly, walking in the comfortable sort of silence that comes from already having had every conversation, but Dave points out birds and oddly-shaped clouds as they pass by, and at one point, he turns to Karkat and says, “Did you hear about that _Love, Actually_ remake they’re doing? Apparently Troll Richard Curtis’ descendant crawled out of the caves a while back, and now he’s getting ready to inherit his legacy or some shit, says it’s going to be out by the end of the year.”

“I won’t be surprised if it’s shit,” Karkat says, “I haven’t seen a good descendant-remake since they rebooted _Roman Holiday_ , but I guess the original Curtis was decent enough that I’ll watch it when it comes out on DVD.”

Dave smiles at him, fond without being aware of it, and laces his fingers through Karkat’s in a well-practiced motion. It takes a moment for Karkat to squeeze back, and if his fingers feel a bit stiffer than usual and if he grimaces slightly like it hurts him to move them, neither of them say anything about it. “Yeah, sure, like you’re not going to be in line at the theater on the release date.” 

“And deal with the fucking press? Fuck no.”

“You say that now, and yet-” Dave waves his phone with his free hand, an Earth C Buzzfeed article already pulled up to show Karkat. “Troll Laura Linney’s descendant is starring.”

Karkat grabs for the phone and quickly scrolls through the article with one hand, the claw of his pointer finger clicking against the screen. “Okay, okay,” he relents, “maybe we can go see it when it comes out.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Dave says. He drops his phone back into his back pocket, then turns his attention back to Karkat. “I’ll get you the box set once they’ve made that, too, I think Curtis said something about wanting to expand it to a whole fuckin’ cinematic universe, like, Marvel who?”

Karkat’s gaze falls from Dave’s eyes, uncovered by shades as they so often are these days, and the smile that crosses his face only earns the term from its concavity, not any perceived sincerity. “Yeah,” he says, and then Dave realizes, like an idiot, that Karkat - he’s probably not going to be around for the fucking _Love Actually_ box set. It’s the most stupid thing in the world, and it’s not a surprise, and yet the knowledge is stuck in Dave’s throat like an unpleasant chunk of grub spaghetti. 

But then Karkat says, “Fuck, my strut pods are getting sore,” and the moment, the opportunity to acknowledge the weight and the lines between them, the days that only seem to pass faster and faster as they come, tumbles down into the water of the lake as the sun slips below the horizon, and Dave and Karkat head for home. 

*

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

TG: hey  
TG: i think its going to be soon  
TG: um  
TG: not that im an expert on troll shit or anything  
TG: thats why im pestering you about i guess  
TG: just wanna make sure im not overreacting to a troll cold or something  
TG: hey do you ever think about how weird it is that none of us have gotten colds  
TG: i mean i guess that makes sense for the god tiers  
TG: but for you and karkat its weird  
TG: unless trolls dont have colds i guess  
TG: did yall have colds on alternia  
GA: What Is A Cold  
GA: Many Of Our Days Did Reach Low Temperatures However I Do Not Think That Is What You Are Referring To  
TG: okay yeah no you probably had a different name for it uh  
TG: fuckin oxygen transport canal congestion sickness  
TG: that ringing any dong shouters  
GA: No  
GA: Was This A Serious Human Illness  
TG: i mean not most of the time  
TG: like if you ignored it maybe but nah  
GA: Ah  
GA: Well It Should Not Surprise You To Learn That Many Alternian Illnesses Were Simply Fatal  
GA: And Sick Trolls Were Culled With Great Rapidity So As To Prevent The Spread Of Disease  
GA: So When You Say That You Think It Is Going To Be Soon  
GA: Unless A New Disease Has Mutated And Appeared On This Earth  
GA: You Are Probably Correct  
GA: May I Ask What Has Led You To Draw This Conclusion  
TG: hes just been  
TG: off i guess  
TG: way slower than usual and not eating as much  
TG: he hasnt even gone on a rant in a couple of days  
TG: i think he might have reached a new record on that front actually  
TG: i havent updated our days since last rant tracker in years  
TG: got bored of putting it back to zero every other day  
TG: but yeah  
TG: and not to mention its like two pm right but hes not out of bed yet  
TG: so  
TG: yeah  
TG: theres all that i guess  
GA: Hm  
GA: Obviously I Was Not Witness To The Death Of Old Trolls  
GA: However From What I Have Studied Of Troll Biology And The Like  
GA: It Does Seem Like It Will Be Soon  
TG: okay  
TG: thanks  
GA: Are You Doing Alright  
GA: And Of Course Please Take That Adjective In Context  
GA: I Am Sure You Are Not Alright Considering That I Am Not Either  
GA: But Do You Require Any Immediate Assistance  
TG: nah im good  
TG: again good in context of course but i dont think i need anything  
TG: unless theres a way to reenter the game and find his old quest bed or something like that  
GA: Yes That Would Be A Nice Solution  
GA: However Rose Has Already Ruled It Out As An Option  
TG: yeah i figured as much  
TG: well anyway  
TG: which sounds like im changing the subject but its more like the subject is merging into the next lane  
TG: are you and rose doing okay  
TG: i know rose is kinda dealing with her own shit here but obviously karkats your friend too  
TG: and i dont want to act like i have some monopoly on being sad about him or whatever  
TG: so if you want to talk about it i guess  
TG: we can have like  
TG: well i was gonna say asshole lovers anonymous because karkats an asshole but that kind of gives things a different vibe  
GA: It Certainly Does  
GA: Perhaps We Do Not Need To Make A Pretend Club  
GA: And We Can Simply Commiserate As Friends  
GA: Both Of Karkat And Of One Another  
TG: yeah i guess that works too  
TG: so are you doing okay  
GA: As I Said I Am Not “Alright”  
GA: But I Am Not Not Alright Either  
GA: I Have Discussed Much Of This With Rose So I Will Not Trouble You With My Thoughts On The Implications Of This Situation For The Preservation Of Alternian History And Whatnot  
GA: However She Has Never Quite Experienced The Loss Of A Friend In This Manner  
GA: Clearly I Have Lost Friends Before  
GA: And I Must Admit That I Am Not Sure Whether That Makes This Easier Or Harder  
TG: that makes sense  
GA: All Of That Said Though There Is A Bit Of A Bright Side  
GA: It Is Amazing To Me That He Has Been Given This Much Time When He Expected To Die At Any Moment Of His Childhood  
GA: Moreso Than The Rest Of Us That Is  
GA: And Since We Are Already Being Extremely Sentimental I Think It Is An Appropriate Time To Say That I Truly Think You Are One Of The Best Things That Could Have Happened To Him  
GA: I Am Glad That You Have Been Able To Share This Time  
TG: damn kanaya i knew we were getting emotional over here but wow  
TG: bringing a tear to my eye  
TG: pass me one of those dainty little handkerchiefs you and rose always have  
GA: Would It Be Inappropriate To Dive Into Roleplay At This Moment  
TG: oh absolutely  
TG: *takes proffered handkerchief and dabs the single tear from my eye like a dainty fuckin southern belle*  
GA: *Takes Handkerchief Back Because I Just Embroidered It And Meant To Hand You An Older And Uglier One*  
GA: *Hands You The Uglier One*  
TG: *looks at it with disdain and drops it onto the ground*  
TG: anyway uh  
TG: i think i hear karkat upstairs so i think im gonna go check on him in a minute  
TG: but thanks for talking  
TG: the door to asshole lovers anonymous is always open if you need it  
GA: Likewise  
GA: I Am Here For You Dave  
GA: And Of Course For Karkat As Well  
TG: thanks kanaya  
TG: youre my favorite alien ecto sister in law  
GA: Youre My Favorite Alien Ecto Brother In Law  


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

*

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]

TG: hey  
GG: oh hi dave!  
GG: whats up?  
TG: oh you know  
TG: the ratings on my raps  
TG: those shits are constantly skyrocketing  
TG: just zoomin right on up to the top  
TG: the only thing that comes close is my soundcloud follower count  
GG: you know thats not really saying much!  
GG: ive seen your follower count dave ._.  
TG: yeah yeah i know  
TG: shh  
GG: hehe  
TG: but anyway i didnt come just to flex my hard earned internet fame  
TG: i know talking about this shit isnt really your thing  
TG: and obviously i get that haha  
TG: i just wanted to let you know that karkat and i think its gonna be soon  
TG: so if you want to come by or something  
TG: wed both love to see you  
TG: i can even change the guest room sheets if you wanna stay for a few days  
GG: i really doubt that you even have an extra pair of sheets  
GG: but okay!!  
GG: id love to come see you guys!  
GG: even though the occasion sucks :(  
TG: yeah it really does  
TG: but hey uh kanaya just started this little thing  
TG: were calling it asshole lovers anonymous and its for people whove fallen into the trap of caring about karkat vantas  
TG: doors always open  
GG: well be sure to let me know when the next meeting is!!  
TG: i mean it can be whenever  
TG: like if you wanna talk about shit now while were both here  
TG: thats cool  
TG: or if you wanna talk about shit whenever you come over  
TG: thats also cool  
TG: or if you never wanna talk about shit  
TG: guess what  
TG: thats cool  
TG: basically whatever you wanna do is cool is what im saying  
GG: dave.....  
GG: do you want to talk about it?  
TG: nah  
TG: like on some level yeah but for the most part no  
TG: i dont think theres anything i havent already said at one point or another anyway  
TG: this ones for you though if theres anything you got on your chest  
TG: sittin there like some horrible mix between a sleep paralysis demon and the elephant in the room because hey whoever said it cant be both at the same time right  
TG: anyway the point is that if you want to talk about anything go ahead  
GG: i know!!  
GG: this probably wont come as a surprise but....  
GG: im not very good at talking about things like this :(  
GG: but dont worry!! i have a very good therapist  
GG: (and shes a professional unlike rose hehe)  
GG: im sorting it all out in my own way!  
TG: okay thats good  
TG: thats really good to hear actually  
TG: fuck yeah therapy  
GG: fuck yeah therapy!!!  
GG: anyway is there anything else you wanted to talk about?  
TG: i didnt have any other conversational topics lined up or anything  
TG: but if you wanna just talk thatd be nice  
TG: been a while since ive had a baggage free conversation  
TG: lets take this shit out of the airport yk  
TG: get in our car and drive home all jetlagged and uncomfy cause someone packed too much and so now weve all gotta sit with our suitcases under our feet  
TG: and it was fine on the way there when we were all excited about going somewhere but now it just sucks  
TG: hows that new plant you got doing  
GG: its good!!!!  
GG: i finally figured out that the reason all of its first seeds kept dying was that it prefers moonlight over sunlight!!  
GG: its actually very interesting because its not originally alternian like i first assumed  
GG: its just a funky little original earth plant!  
TG: thats pretty cool actually  
TG: sounds like something out of harry potter but still  
TG: pretty cool  
GG: i know right!!!  
GG: it looks like its going to bloom soon and im so excited to see what its flowers look like :0  
TG: oh hell yeah  
TG: send pics when it does  
TG: you know i wanna see those juicy blossoms  
GG: dave.....  
GG: :/  
TG: aw cmon jade this shouldnt be a surprise to you  
TG: you know im all about juicy blossoms and freshly pollinated stamens and or whatever the fuck  
GG: dave if this is your way of confessing your plant fetish i really wish it wasnt!!  
TG: its not actually but it would be hilarious if it was huh  
TG: like hey jade  
TG: theres something ive been meaning to tell you for a while now  
TG: and its kind of really personal  
TG: “dave i know youre gay!!!! its really okay!! :D”  
TG: no no its not that  
TG: i  
TG: am attracted to plants  
TG: i have a plant fetish jade  
GG: i think youre making my plants uncomfortable and they cant even read!!  
TG: alright alright  
TG: sorry plants  
TG: im not actually attracted to you  
TG: damn i hope that didnt make anyone more upset  
GG: hmmm....  
GG: one of the daffodils in the corner looks pretty sad actually!!  
GG: i think she had the plant hots for you dave!  
TG: aw tell her im so sorry  
TG: maybe in another life where im some freaky plant fetishist  
TG: kinda like if my bro had grown up in a garden instead of in whatever puppet infested hell he came from  
TG: what a life that wouldve been huh  
TG: anyway your moon plant sounds cool is what im saying  
GG: its so cool!!!  
GG: i guess ill have to get someone to take care of it when i come over to your place  
GG: or could i bring it?  
GG: it really doesnt take up too much room or anything  
TG: oh yeah no thats chill  
TG: im sure karkat would love to see it  
TG: dude thinks nature is dope as fuck  
TG: got houseplants out of our collective ass at this point  
GG: okay good!!!  
GG: ill probably be there sometime tomorrow if thats alright?  
TG: yeah that works  
GG: okay! ill let you know before i head out :D  
TG: sounds cool  
TG: see you then  
GG: yeah!  


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]

*

“And you’re sure about this?”

“For the eightieth time - _yes_.”

Dave inhales, exhales, looks down at Karkat. He’s lying deep in his preferred mattress crease, almost hidden amongst a veritable nest of pillows and blankets, and he hasn’t gotten up for more than five minutes at a time for the past two days, and his hair is a tangled mess of gray and black, and he’s looking at Dave with so much fond exasperation that Dave refuses to believe that this is almost it.

But - it is, right, because even the exasperation in Karkat’s eyes has a cloudiness to it, now, because he hasn’t ranted in a week, because it’s becoming rapidly clear from Kanaya’s daily visits and Jade’s near-constant presence that, well, if Dave is going to go, he has to go now. 

“Okay,” he says, “right, I think I have a day kinda picked out, so, um, yeah. Be back in a second.”

And then, before anyone can say anything else, Dave reaches out for his powers, and heads into the past. He doesn’t go back as far as he’s actually planning to, not yet, just to a couple of weeks ago at a time when he knows the house is quiet so that he can pester his past self. 

Doing something like this - coming back to a quiet day without telling anyone else - has occurred to Dave a couple of times, but ultimately, he’s decided against it. He has way too much fucking time on his hands as it is, what with being, y’know, immortal and all. 

Okay. Time to focus. Dave drops down onto the bed and pulls out his phone. If he just thinks about what he’s doing, one step a time, without thinking about what he’s actually capital-d Doing, it’s fine. He’s fine.

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] began pestering  PAST turntechGodhead [PTG]

CTG: hey  
CTG: i was gonna ask if you have a minute but i know you do  
CTG: so uh  
CTG: hey  
PTG: hey  
PTG: what the fuck is going on  
PTG: and when the fuck are you  
CTG: the future  
PTG: well yeah i figured  
PTG: ive been on earth c for eight years  
PTG: twenty-seven days  
CTG: ok yeah yeah i get it  
CTG: i could not give less of a shit about how many hours  
PTG: yeah fair  
PTG: anyway what the fuck is going on  
PTG: did john do something to fuck up the future  
PTG: i bet it was john  
PTG: and i say that in the nicest way possible   
PTG: hes just trying his best but sometimes goddamn am i right  
CTG: yeah no its not john  
CTG: also hey can you change your text color this is sending my brain to hell  
CTG: these old eyes of mine cant take it  
PTG: what  
CTG: nothin  
CTG: here ill do it  
CTG: ok i hate this but it works i guess  
PTG: so are you here just to stall or did you want something  
PTG: no offense obviously im sure your purposes are suitably futuristic or whatever  
PTG: but karkat and i are planning on going on a date today  
PTG: oh shit hey everythings okay with him right  
PTG: like obviously i know you probably cant tell me if we have a sordid break up around year fifty or whatever  
PTG: i made some horrible breach of troll etiquette and now we never speak  
PTG: only using our friends as passive aggressive middlemen whenever i find another one of his itchy ass sweaters at my place  
PTG: i mean the more i talk about it the more likely it seems honestly  
CTG: no were not broken up  
CTG: although if you keep refusing to just admit that youre scared to lose him or whatever theres probably still a chance that itll happen  
CTG: its 20 fuckin i lost count dude weve character developed  
PTG: right  
PTG: and thats why youre still fucking stalling  
CTG: yeah yeah  
CTG: this is gonna sound weird but trust me  
CTG: can i come crash your date today  
CTG: and by crash i mean im going on it instead of you  
PTG: why  
PTG: i had this shit all planned out  
PTG: i know you know this but like i found this park we havent been to before  
PTG: well jade found it and told me that it was nice  
PTG: so were going to go and have like a whole picnic  
CTG: yeah i know  
CTG: but now im going to go and have like a whole picnic  
CTG: trust me on this one ok  
PTG: fine  
PTG: see you in a minute then  


PAST turntechGodhead [PTG] ceased pestering  CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG]

The floor feels unsteady under Dave’s feet when he lands in the past. He’s still in the house, still in his and Karkat’s bedroom, and the house is still new, the carpet still soft, the infamous apple juice spill still to come. Dave is still, for a moment, before catching his reflection’s eye in the glass of a photo frame on Karkat’s bedside table.

The picture is still there, in the future. It was one of the first decorations Karkat put up - a photo Rose took of them back when Earth C was new and unfamiliar and it felt important to document every moment in case it disappeared - and now Dave’s age is superimposed on the image of his teenage self. Okay. Yeah, he should probably fix that before he goes to find Karkat and the other Dave. 

Somehow, it’s as easy to send his appearance back about sixty years as it’s been to slowly pull it forward, which is to say, easy until his skin settles around him like something unfamiliar. Dave hasn’t given too much thought to what he’s going to do when he gets back, age wise, but he’s not sure if he’ll ever find something that sits quite right. The reflection now staring back at him looks awkward, uncomfortable, and when he steps towards the doorway, his limbs aren’t quite sure how to move without compensating for soreness.  
It’s strange, but it’s not like there’s anything about this situation that sits comfortably, is there? So Dave pulls the door open and steps out into the hall. He’s not sure where exactly his past self is, but that question is quickly answered by the sound of Karkat’s voice filtering up from the kitchen.

“Future Dave is coming?” he says. “Not that I - actually, fuck that sentence, but what?”

There’s a mumbled response, and Dave allows himself one more second to breathe before he shoves his hands into his pockets and heads downstairs. 

“Hey,” he says, tilting his head up to acknowledge his past self and not quite looking at Karkat, not yet. “Uh. ‘sup.”

“Hey,” says Past Dave. “I guess I’ll just head out, then-” 

“Dave. Either of you. Will you explain what the fuck is happening here?” Karkat interrupts. “I’m sorry for interrupting your all-important time god business, but I thought Dave - past Dave, I guess - and I were going to the public lawn ring, but then all of a sudden he’s saying that you’re going instead for no fucking reason, so if _someone_ could explain anything, I’d very much appreciate it.”

Dave opens his mouth to answer, but any words he possibly could have thought of disappear when he looks at Karkat. He looks… well, like Karkat, young Karkat, all blocky edges and dark hair and the same old sweater, and it hurts like falling in love all over again with both him and the Karkat still lying in bed in the future. 

Luckily, before Dave says anything overly emotional, past Dave raises his hands, palms out, like a surrender, and says, “Look, dude, I don’t know. He pestered me, says he’s going with you instead, and we kinda agreed to accept time shenanigans at this point.”

Dave nods for emphasis, although he’s not sure if it helps or hurts the situation. 

“So - the game is over, right? You do know that?” Karkat says. “I don’t get how there are still “time shenanigans.””

“Yeah, me neither,” Dave says, “but hey, what can you do about it, right? Look, I’m still me, you’re you, and I want to go on this date with you, and then you and past Dave can do whatever you want. Okay?”

Karkat folds his arms and glares at Dave suspiciously. “And is there actually a reason for this shit, or did you just decide to start running rampantly through the timelines like we’re still in SBURB because current Karkat isn’t agreeing to rap with you or whatever?”

“There’s an actual reason,” Dave says, and it’s a miracle that his voice doesn’t splinter into a thousand pieces. “But, uh, legally, I can’t tell you - time shenanigans, y’know? Don’t wanna fuck anything up.”

Karkat continues to glare at him for another moment before turning back to past Dave. “And you’re just okay with this?”

Past Dave shrugs. “I mean, he’s me, and like I said, at this point, if he says time shenanigans, I say, okay, fine. I wouldn’t do this to you without an actual reason, so he wouldn’t either, so... it’ll be fine, okay? I can go bug someone else.”

“Are you sure?” Karkat asks.

Past Dave gives Dave a quick glance, not unlike one shared between two Daves on LOHAC so long ago and yet not long ago at all, and nods. “Yeah.”

Karkat still looks about two seconds away from pitching a fit, but he drops his arms with a sigh and turns to Dave. “Alright, let’s go, then.”

Dave gives him a thumbs-up, not unlike one shared between two Daves on LOHAC so long ago and yet not long ago at all, because his voice is suddenly and strangely an unreliable thing, and they head out of the house without another wave. As they go, Dave can feel Past Dave’s eyes on him, and their weight is heavy like the knowledge no one wants to have.

Karkat is the first to break the silence, eventually, as they arrive at the park that Dave’s been to countless times now and set off down a shaded path. “Sorry about that,” he says. “I wasn’t trying to - I know you’re Dave, too, and I know you wouldn’t be here without a reason, it’s just -”

“You had a plan,” Dave finishes. “Nah, it’s cool, I get it. And I know I’m, like, not quite the Dave you were expecting to hang out with today.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Karkat says, and then he snorts, and some of the awkwardness disappears. It’s Karkat and Dave - it never really stood a chance. “What the fuck are you wearing, for one?”

Dave looks down at himself and laughs too, softly, when he realizes. He’s in one of Karkat’s sweaters, actually, a blocky, warm-toned sweater that hung better from older bones, and now he looks a bit like a queer teen discovering the men’s section of Goodwill for the first time. “This is yours, actually. Future yours.”

Karkat wrinkles his nose. It’s an expression he dropped at some point over the years without Dave realizing, and it aches like a warm cup of tea to see it again. “Good to know neither of us have taste in the future, I guess. Which, uh, speaking of, how far are you from?”

The sunlight, surprisingly gentle for the mid-June date, falls between the leaves above them before landing in fragments across Karkat’s face. Dave studies them for a moment, watching them skip from Karkat’s nose to cheek and back again, before shrugging and saying, “A while.” 

“Thank you, Dave, very helpful,” Karkat grumbles.

“Hey, I can’t be too specific, time shit is still complicated as hell,” Dave protests. “Look, it’s - it’s a while, okay? It doesn’t really matter that much.”

Karkat’s eyes narrow, and Dave thinks he’s going to press. And that’s - fuck, Dave can’t do that, he’s going to have to leave but then that’ll make everything worse - but suddenly, Karkat’s expression changes. It doesn’t fall, exactly, doesn’t soften, but it looks like the face he makes when he bites into a grubberry and it’s a little more sour than he’d expected. “Okay, fine,” Karkat says. “Keep being infuriatingly vague and smug, I don’t care.”

“Hell yeah, dude, thanks for the permission,” Dave says, and when Karkat’s elbow sets a course for his side, it’s so familiar to dodge that it hurts. But the conversation moves on, to the book Karkat started the other day to the new coffee shop - one of Dave’s favorites to date - that’s opening soon, to the suspiciously gray clouds that keep passing overhead without incident, to everything about the pastpresent and nothing about the future, and as they walk, making loop after loop through the park, thankfully and strangely unrecognized, the ever-present lump in Dave’s throat softens, just a bit.

It’s... it’s good to see Karkat like this. He goes on a twenty minute rant about the SoundCloud account he hasn’t found, and Dave’s foot only slips on the gravel slightly when he remembers that he never will. He talks about upcoming movies he’s seen and loved, upcoming movies he’s seen and hated, failed and successful renovations to the house he and past Dave are still getting used to, moments Dave remembers and moments that he forgot, and it’s _good._ For once in his infinite life, Dave shuts up and just listens. He lets the words wash over him like the sunlight, lets them settle under his skin and make a cushion for the inevitable fall. No, he can’t have this forever, no, he can’t have this for longer than today, yes, he’s lucky that he gets to have it twice at all, yes, he’s lucky that he was even able to have it once. 

The sun is approaching the horizon by the time Karkat finally pauses, yawns, points out a bench facing the lake. Dave’s hand is locked in his as they walk over and sit down, and even when Karkat sits close enough for the angle to become awkward, Dave doesn’t let go. 

Ducks - or maybe geese, an upbringing in the middle of Houston and an intergalactic game never really inspired an interest in ornithology - swim across the water in small groups; a couple of people throw Frisbees back and forth on the opposite side. Their voices carry just well enough to be heard but not understood, an ambient reminder that no matter how isolated or out of time this moment feels, it’s solidly in the real world. The sun glimmers on the gently rippling water as it touches the horizon. The metaphor feels so heavy-handed that it catches somewhere in Dave’s ribcage. 

“Did you ever read _Troll Great Gatsby?_ ” Karkat asks suddenly. 

When Dave turns to look at him for an explanation, Karkat’s not looking at him. His gaze is somewhere down towards the birds, and the controlled stillness of his posture means that he’s put something, if not everything, together. “Uh, no, never got around to it,” Dave says. “Why?”

Karkat pauses, bites his lip. It’s abruptly so much like the meteor that Dave almost hates the fresh air around them, wants to go back to when time seemed infinite - horribly so, at the time - for both of them. “There’s this whole - you should read it, okay, I swear it’s not just one of my romance books.”

“Okay?” Dave agrees, and he doesn’t even have to put on a convincing act. He’ll read it. 

Karkat opens his mouth, then pauses again. “I know you don’t want to talk about why you’re here,” he finally says. There’s a soft splash, then laughter, as the Frisbee lands in the lake. “But I don’t - are you okay?”

Dave looks down at his hands. Or, more accurately, his and Karkat’s hands, still intertwined. The people across the lake begin to walk away. The sun continues to sink. “This a Rose-sanctioned activity, if that’s what you’re asking,” he says, “but, yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it, if that’s okay.”

There’s a silence. It’s not necessarily long, but it’s heavy and far closer to tangible than it has any right to be. Karkat drops his head onto Dave’s shoulder. “I’m still not used to seeing sunsets,” he says.

“What do you mean?” Dave asks.

“No one really watched them on Alternia,” Karkat explains. “Or, at least I didn’t, they always happened way too early, and besides, that was when drones would do morning runs most of the time. But I like them.”

Dave glances down at Karkat’s head, his horns bright against his hair, his gaze still cast somewhere out towards the reflection of the light on the water. “Yeah. They’re nice.”

“And I’ve seen a million now, right,” Karkat continues, “or probably somewhere in the vicinity of that, at least, but they’re still - they never get old.”

With his free hand, Dave reaches up and pulls his shades on top of his head. Once his eyes adjust, the colors of the sky flood his eyes, bright and warm and somehow changing every time he blinks, hazy for reasons known but unspoken. Karkat’s words settle around him like the slightly scratchy fabric of his sweater. He sits in them for a moment before speaking. “You can see, like, a bajillion of these things, and some are better than others, I guess, if you wanna qualify it like that, but no matter how many you’ve seen or are gonna see, each one is still, like, its own thing,” he rephrases. “Damn, alright, Gandhi Vantas.”

“I’m not even a human, Dave, and I know that Gandhi was his last name,” Karkat says. “Mahatma Vantas, maybe, or Karkat Gandhi, even, but no, you just had to pick the one option that made no sense.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, I also could’ve said Karkat Mahatma,” Dave points out. 

Karkat considers this for a moment, then leans into Dave just enough that his horns gently poke Dave’s neck. “Yeah, yeah, shut up.”

Dave lets himself laugh and is glad to find that it doesn’t come out as a sob. “Yeah, alright.”

There’s another silence. This one is long and filled with just as many things as before, but this time, it doesn’t ache against the back of Dave’s neck like the swing of a pendulum or the rotation of the world. It just sits, around and next to Dave and Karkat, like it’s framing a photo. The sun sinks lower and lower, all the way until it has no choice but to rise somewhere else, and that’s when Dave kisses Karkat, right in the spot where his first gray hair will later grow, and leaves the past.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading <3 feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> ALSO! i am currently offering fic in return for donation to racial justice charities - for more info, check out my profile or dm me on instagram, tumblr, or tiktok @gamebro1990mix! :-)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [an unwinnable war](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057990) by [aquariumsdelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariumsdelight/pseuds/aquariumsdelight)




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